Wednesday or Thursdayish Top 10

Cam's Favorite Movie Characters of All-Time. I'll try to put some of them in order, but toward the top, my rankings could change from day to day. Some of the quotes are of the book variety if they didn't make it into the movie.

I chose these characters because they made me laugh, envious, or were just plain interesting or entertaining.






10. Carl Spackler (Caddyshack)- "He's a cinderalla boy, out of nowhere..." One of the funniest characters per line ever written.

Best Line: "So I jump ship in Hong Kong...."

9. Egon Spangler (Ghostbusters)- Great dry humor. He grounded the whole theme of Ghostbusters in something other than slapstick.

Best Line: "There is definitely a very slim chance we might survive."

8. Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)- Who doesn't want to be the Captain of The Black Pearl? I didn't understand the 3rd one though. Just weird.

Best Line: "Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past.(looks at Elizabeth) One of you succeeded."

7. Doc Brown (Back to The Future)- I want to go Back to the Future. I wanted the cool DeLorean and all. I'm still waiting for my hoverboard.

Best line: In response to Marty repeatedly saying 'this is heavy!'

"What is it with that word? Is there something wrong with the gravitational pull of the earth in 1985?"

6. Vito Corleone (The Godfather)- Just a Sicilian boy who made his own way in America by being honest, yet ruthless. There's surely a few real life Vito's out there.

Best line: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

5. Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)- He was the epitome of "cool" in the 80's.

Best line: "I don't believe in 'isms'. In my opinion, 'isms' don't lead to anything good."

4. Tyler Durden (Fight Club)- A very interesting character. I wonder how many of us have an alter-ego like that locked away inside of us.

Best line: "The things you own end up owning you."

3. Peter Pan (All the different Pan movies except "Hook")- He can fly, fight Pirates, and never grows up. Pretty cool.

Best line: He wasn't terribly clever. He doesn't have any good lines.

2. Voldemort (Harry Potter)- The outward expression of an attention hungry orphan, looking for some kind of self-importance which he found in the "Dark Arts". He discovered hurting and tormenting others to be a source of pleasure very early in life and never stopped.

Best line: "There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it." You'll see it in the next movie.

1. Edmond Dantes (Count of Monte Cristo)- True love, betrayal, imprisonment without hope....therefore, hate and revenge drove him on to survive. And he executes his revenge so cleverly and perfectly.

Best lines: On the outset of his revenge- "And now, farewell to kindness, humanity and gratitude. I have substituted myself for Providence in rewarding the good; may the God of vengeance now yield me His place to punish the wicked."

To his son after his revenge was nearly complete- "Tell the angel who will watch over your life to pray now and then for a man who, like Satan, believed himself for an instant to be equal to God, but who realized in all humility that supreme power and wisdom are in the hands of God alone."

Weekly Wednesday Top 10

I don't watch movies a whole lot anymore, not even at home. Having said that, I do love good movies. Here is my top 10 movies of all-time.

10. The Usual Suspects- It was one of the great surprise endings of all-time, but the story line is great even if you know it's coming.

Best line: (looking through his rifle scope counting targets) "1,2,3,4,5,6....7..8,9. Oswald was a fag."

9. Father of The Bride- A great "romantic comedy." I always knew I would have daughters, so even at a fairly young age this movie was a favorite of mine.

Best line: Martin Short's character in his thick accent. "Haaaonk! Haonk is a ginus, ond wee nid his mond."

8. Last of The Mohicans- The great American frontier on the big screen. It has great acting and a incredible soundtrack.

Best line: British Officer:, "and you call yourself an Englishman and loyal subject to the crown?"
Hawkeye: "I do not call myself subject to much at all."

7. Top Gun- Did any guy who watched this movie as a kid not want to be a Navy pilot?

Best line: "I feel the need...the need...for speed."

6. Van Wilder- I just love this movie. I think the Tuesday & Co. crew watched it at least 5 or 6 dozen times.

Best line: "If he's here, who's running hell?"

5. Caddyshack- It's an all-star cast, a bunch of quotable lines, and it just doesn't get old for me.

Best line: "So I jumped ship in Hong Kong..." and all that follows.

4. The Godfather- I think most guys have an intrigue with the masculine power trip of the mafia. It's pure drama and entertainment for like six hours.

Best line: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse." (Can it really be anything else?)

3. Animal House- Simply the one of the greatest any way you slice it. It's funny, nuanced, and clever...yet outright hilarious.

Best line: "Boone, I anticipate a deeply religious experience."

2. Last Samurai- It's on of the most epic movies I've ever seen. It glorifies honor, discipline, and brotherhood. The acting and cinematography is incredible. If you haven't seen it yet, you need to.

Best line: "My thanks, on behalf of those who died in the name of better mechanical amusements and commercial opportunities."

1. Tombstone- It's a man's movie. Gunfighting, sex, and humor rolled into one neat package.

Best line: "Oh. I'm sorry, Johnny I forgot you were there. You may go now."


Honorable Mention: Ghostbusters, Big Fish, Secondhand Lions, Emperor's New Groove, The Harry Potter Series, Tommy Boy, Batman Begins, The Bourne Series, First Knight, and almost any "Happy Madison" production.

Quasi-Honorable Mention: Field of Dreams...are we cool now, Tiff?

What are yours?

Have a great Wednesday!

Weekly Wednesday Top 10

I really love being able to stay home with Ainsley. We are very blessed to be able to have one of us not working to focus on our family. Today, I'd like to take this time to go over the top 10 things about my job by which I am continually amazed.

10. Getting to wake up in the morning (even the early morning) to the sound of my name.

"Dada? Daadaaaaa? DADA!"

9. Finding the new messes around the house. The picture sums it up pretty well. It's just a sign that Ainsley is exploring the frontier around her, and it's maddening to constantly clean, but these moments always make me laugh.

8. When Ainsley counts. She counts to five pretty well, but she may skip some of the numbers to get to five...or repeat "one" a couple of times.

7. Watching Ainsley "twirl." I've heard about this phenomenon ever since "You've Got Mail" and only in the last couple of months have I seen this in action. She's pretty good at it, but occasionally she'll get dizzy and fall down.

6. When she imitates something she hears on television. Her first example was "touchdown" which was touching for me, but yesterday she said, "Shut up, Dwight." when The Office was on. It was funny and horrifying.

5. Working through her new words like Open, which is pronounced "Oppy" and nice, which is pronounced "Neeeeece."

4. Making her laugh. The most genuine method of making her laugh is doing something that hurts myself or tripping, but the easiest way is tickling her, which is way more fun.

3. Watching her dance. I covered this one recently, but she literally dances to every piece of music imaginable. It's good to see her dance because it's a small way of knowing that she has joy in her heart, and I pray I do nothing but encourage her to keep dancing for the rest of her life. I'm sure her Mama will teach her a few new moves other than the booty dance.

2. Reading to her and with her. In the mornings she wants to have me read to her, so we run through 8-10 different books over the course of an hour. In the afternoon she wants to read those books to me.

Ainsley will approach me much like a college professor approaches a podium. She stands up straight, looks me in the eye, and tells me she is preparing to read a book by holding it out (not up, which is the signal for me to read it to her). She then commences her lecture to her audience on the Mouse who ran up the cup, across the table, through the shoe and into the hole to get away from the cat. Riveting.

1. Getting to love on her. Ainsley is a very independent little girl, but when she gets tired or bumps her head, she needs to be held and reassured.

A girl I once knew said that tucking your child into bed is one of the best things about being a parent, and I haven't taken that privilege for granted. It's been one of the best ways to love on my daughter when she'll let me.

My list isn't glorifying or romanticizing parenthood, it's how it actually is for me. There are days where I feel frustrated, but something always happens to ground me back to the very real joy of being a daddy. It's been the best job I've ever had and it's a job that I will hold for life.

The connection between a father and daughter is special, and I will always honor that relationship, whether it is between me and my daughters or any other.

Have a great Wednesday.

Search for The Bunkhouse

Although I don't want to borrow anymore from Dr. Elrod's lame-o weblog, some of the searches we've gotten over the last two months that have brought people to The Bunkhouse need to be published.

As my friends get a pretty big kick out these search results over the phone, I hope you will find them equally amusing. Here are the top 10 searches, other than "Cameron Clark," "Rooney Tuesday," or "The Bunkhouse Blog."

In order of most searched.

10. Jerrod Mayo sucks

9. Nick Saban, anti-christ

8. Mark Elrod is gay

7. Super Size my p****

6. Dan Band, Ho, best song ever

5. Anderson cooper, homosexual, gerbils

4. Mike Huckabee, Chuck Norris, gay lovers

3. Mark Mangino, huge pannus, heart attack

2. Santa is the anti-christ

1. Herman Johnsons mother, biggest baby in Louisiana

For the record, I don't talk about gays or homosexuality all that much on the blog. You'll find the primary references to this under the "Gayest Ending of Them All" and "Personal Politics" posts. It was just interesting to see what people are looking for on the world wide web.

Have a great Tuesday!

Weekly Wednesday Top 10

The national media is abuzz this morning with the outrage of Bobby Petrino's departure from Atlanta in favor of Fayetteville. It would be difficult for me to care less about who captains the Razorback football program, as long as it is not someone who is currently employed by Auburn University.

With these coaching changes happening so often, it is probably a good task to identify the worst coaching situations that exist in the upper levels of American football (college & pro) that make these transitions so prevalent, especially between college and pro teams. It also explains why colleges like Arkansas have a hard time filling the opening with suitors who have less pressure and comparable money in a less competitive conference.

Now that the very worst job in all of the NFL (Falcons) is open, and the most high pressure college coaching vacancy now filled (Arkansas) let's run down the list of the remaining worst coaching jobs based upon prestige, expectations, recruiting, facilities, salary, and the school's commitment to the program.

10. UCLA Bruins- They have no commitment to football, they are in the PAC-10, and they have absurd expectations considering their lack of history in football. Because of how they have acted, they should expect to be a stepping stone school for quite some time to come.

Positives: They have decent facilities, a solid salary for the coach, and one of the best recruiting bases in America.

9. Vanderbilt Commodores- Bobby Johnson has worked wonders with his severe academic, financial, and facility limitations. The fact that Vandy has fired any head coach over the last 20 years is a true statement on egg-head academics with their head in their rectum trying to preside over a major college athletic endeavor.

Their football program consolidated under the "Inter-mural Department" four years ago. It's sad.

Positives: The program itself has little upside. The SEC, the facility limitations, and recruiting are as good as it can possibly get for the 'Dores growth potential.

8. Detroit Lions- This is the black hole of coaching in the NFL today. Matt Millen might be the worst at his job in the league, other than maybe the Oakland Raiders franchise from top to bottom.

They have a nice facility, but outside of that it is a coach's graveyard. Don't believe me? Name the last 3 head coaches of the Detroit Lions and what they're doing now.

Positives: The salary cap, free agency, and a lower draft ranking this year will allow them to get a need instead of best player near the top of the draft.

7. Minnesota Golden Gophers- Ugh! They might be in the worst recruiting bastion in major college football. They win just enough to garner some expectations, but they really are pretty bad. The weather and facilities don't make it easy to recruit southward either.

Positives: Enough talent falls through the cracks that they get Barbers and Maroneys every now and then, and they're in the Big 10. They can always make a bowl game with a pathetic out of conference schedule plus a conference schedule that lacks Penn State and Ohio State in some seasons.

6. Kansas Jayhawks- They are in the Big 12 North, they have no commitment to football, all of the fans are bandwagon, and their facilities are among the worst in Division I football.

When KU was 8-0 this year, no one here in KC gave a crap. They were talking about their basketball midnight madness, and thought their football team was a nice story for the kiddies.

Positives: There are few. Expectations have been raised, but the prestige, recruiting base, and lack of true commitment to the program remain the same. It will be a curse and not a blessing shortly down the road.

Need proof? If Mangino left, what Head Coach would want to come to Kansas and hear, "Chuck Mangino took us to the Orange Bowl. What have you got?" Answer: Not a medium or high profile coach. It'll be some mid-major offensive coordinator or a D-II Head Coach that will have to be conscripted to do the job.

5. New York Jets- They share a stadium, they have the New York media breathing down their neck all the time, and management is only fairly committed to winning consistently. The fact that they play in the same division with the modern NFL dynasty isn't a big perk either.

This franchise may be as inherently obsolete as it gets.

Positives: Same as Detroit.

4. Baylor Bears- The permanent cellar dweller of the Big 12 in every sport but women's basketball. It will ruin a coach's reputation and potential faster than almost any other job out there.

Positives: There's always a transfer to the Sun Belt.

3. Miami Hurricanes- Just plum awful facilities from their condemned stadium, all the way through their high schoolesque workout facilities. It is a big dump.

The "U" has loads of tradition, a great recruiting base, and prestige, but MY OH MY how quickly those advantages are being thrown away in the modern era of the mid-major recruiting push, and the need for state of the art facilities to attract the top prospects. No joke, South Florida has a better recruiting edge in all categories except history over the Canes right this very minute.

This program comes in and out of the big picture of college football faster than any other program. Even Notre Dame gets press when the suck. Anyone hear anything out of Coral Gables this year?

Positives: If they spend the money for facilities, dorms, and coaches, they'll be back in it soon. The expectations remain the same, but they're in the ACC.

2. Oakland Raiders- When Al Davis calls it quits, this team will get better immediately. His expectations are wildly unrealistic, and they have the worst talent evaluation in the NFL.

Positives: To Al Davis, "Just die, baby!"- Steve Mezzapelle


1. Alabama Crimson Tide- If the team is not competing for at least the SEC title, the coach is the least popular person in the state. We're talking lower approval ratings than congress. It's pretty easy to go there since half of the state hates him by default, but his base will desert him faster than a Bobby Petrino coaching change.

His wife and children will receive death threats during bad seasons. He has absolutely no privacy. He has to be "dressed to the nines" to attend all the different pancake breakfasts for booster clubs across the state; which means the Bama head coach consumes about 2 tons of pancakes during the off-season and will ruin about 9 different Armani suites with maple syrup. It's a travesty.

Possibly the worst thing of all: The expectations. Saban could win a national championship, and at the same pancake breakfasts he will get, "Great season coach!" followed directly by,"We're gonna repeat next year. Right?" said as a statement of fact, and yet threat also.

Positives: He'll be immortalized and legendary if he does win a National Title there. The salary will be unreal, the popularity will be crazy high (as in women will want to have his baby, their husbands won't mind, and will probably even name their it after you....regardless of gender).

Now that we've thoroughly dissected the worst of the best sport in the land, we can all look for the coaching changes surrounding these schools to be done in a manner that mirrors highly paid military conscription. The coaches here should feel as if they are marching off to their professional demise....because, in fact, they are.

Weekly Wednesday Top 10

Liz has worked incredibly hard to be where she is as a physician. Her first residency is coming to a close this June, and even though she will be little removed from a c-section, we will be making an end-all, be-all trip to celebrate her accomplishments.

This is our top 10 destinations for this coming Spring.

10. Bethel, Maine- It is going to be gorgeous there in late May! It is a crisp and cool New England town located very near Nanatook Lake. It's an inexpensive option to stay there in a lake house, or a beautiful bed & breakfast in town.

9. St. Andrews, Scotland- Not for anything golf related, we would love to visit this seaside village in eastern Scotland. It would be a nice trip to the mother country, and there's lots of shopping for Liz and lots of maritime activities for both of us.

8. Jackson Hole, Wyoming- 'Legends of The Fall' did a wonderful job romanticizing this area of the country. There are lots of wilderness lodges there that provide luxury accommodations for Liz, and great hunting for me.

7. Xi'an, China- This is where the terracotta soldiers are located, and there is a festival in late May that would make the trip worthwhile.

6. Nusa Dua, Bali- Great hotels, great shopping, and some of the best scuba diving in the world. Liz would love that.

5. The Bellagio, Las Vegas, Nevada- I know it sounds crazy, but a trip to Las Vegas might be just what the doctor ordered. It's more expensive, but you can relax, and the "Empress" package is non-stop pampering for 6 days for Liz.

4. Easter Island, Chile- It would be a very nice and relaxing time, with some nice tourist anthropological draws. They have a five diamond resort there on one of the many beautiful South Pacific beaches, which feature on-water bungalows, paddle-up transportation, and private dock-side breakfasts.

The resort also does lots of pampering for Liz, but it's on the expensive end.

3. A Mediterranean Cruise- Liz and I went on our first cruise last November, and loved it. The boat is as social, or as private as you make it, and there's lots of things to do and see when in port. The only problem with that is the travel is paper thin in depth.

If we're going to be in Europe, I have a feeling Liz will want to explore everything, and 6 hours onshore will not be her cup of tea. I'll let her decide though, as the scenery from the deck will be gorgeous, and we can even take in an extra travel day before or after the cruise is done.

2. Torino, Italy- Everyone who watched the 2006 Winter games knows how beautiful this town is. I know Liz will want to travel all over the place if we go to Italy, but we'll see what she thinks about a Torino vacation.

1. Casapueblo, Uruguay- We saw this hotel on the travel channel, and fell in love with it. It is a gorgeous white stone structure built right in to the rock face at Punta Del Esta on the Uruguaian coast.

It is owned by a renowned painter, and I have the feeling Liz would enjoy this spot immensley. It is surprisingly inexpensive too.

Weekly Wednesday Top 10

I love to read. At one point, you might say I did it for a living.

I'm a history guy, so many of my favorite pieces of literature are history books. However, I think limiting a "top 10" list to include only certain literary works, would deprive you, the reader, of your right to choose from a host of wonderful thoughts and stories written down on paper. These are my Top 10 English Language Writers.

I will try to reference as many good pieces of their works as I have read, and hopefully you can prove Egon Spangler wrong when he said, "The print is dead."

10. J.K. Rowling- Her Harry Potter series are an incredibly imaginative and interesting set of books. They are a little advanced in structure and content for young children, but her writing style is unique.

She has not yet written anything else that is widely available, so until she writes more than one successful series of books she won't gain much more traction in my top 10.

9. J.R.R. Tolkien- Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion. They are the histories of the "middle earth" we saw on the big screen a few years ago. The movies and books specifically deal with "A Hobbit's Tale." Again, one genre, and that is the only reason from not ranking Tolkien higher.

He is also a bit slow and long-winded, but he had to write down the world he had created in his mind. It is pure genius.

8. Winston Churchill- "History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it." He meant it, and he did it. 43 books in 72 volumes, 15 of which were written about his involvement in the affairs of the British Empire leading up to and during the second world war.

It is unique to view history through his eyes as he lived it. He definitely has a slant to his writing, but he was a bit of an ego-maniac. Read him with a grain of salt.

7. David McCullough- A brilliant historian who is a Skull and Bones Yalie. He has six Pulitzer Prize winning works. He does a good job of bringing interest and intrigue to the story of our American History.

6. John Eldridge- A Christian author that does such a good job of exploring and dissecting the human condition in a variety of ways. Check out the catalog of his works to see what you want to mull over a bit more.

5. John Piper- He can break down the practical application of the will of God better than anyone I have ever encountered. Whether you are a Christian who is struggling with faith, or a doubter and skeptic who believes the Christian God to be vengeful and unjust, John Piper can bring the discussion back to scripture and God's expressed intent of this life experience.

He might even dissuade the skeptic about the loving nature of God.

4. William Shakespeare- I have a copy of Shakespeare's complete works in my den. Everything from his plays to his sonnets are classic pieces of English literature. If you don't own his complete works, you should visit the amazon link and buy it right now.

3. C.S. Lewis-There are so many "minor" works that are rarely published that only 25 of his 70 plus works are readily available for purchase today.

Lewis called himself, "the most unwilling convert," as he set about to debate Christian contemporary, J.R.R. Tolkien, about the existence of God while they were teaching at Oxford.

This series of debates set the wheels in motion, through Lewis' own study of scripture and philosophy, to be converted to Christianity. Thus, we have his thoughts preserved on paper to help us on our road to eternity, as well as future generations.

2. Mark Twain- Maybe the first great American writer in our history. His wit and wisdom is unparalleled, save one other author. His quotes and works have lived-on and remain relevant and potently humorous even today.

Check him out, and tell me I'm wrong.

1. Lewis Grizzard- My absolute favorite author of all time. He was the modern Mark Twain, as his wit is the only one I've seen that matches Samuel Clemens'.

He was probably an unlikable character in his deep personal life, as he had four wives. The way he writes so passionately, yet humorously about life circumstances and The South is what keeps me reading his books over and over.

When you read his books, I promise you will laugh out loud. His book titles are intriguing enough: Chili Dogs Always Bark at Night, Elvis is Dead and I Don't Feel Too Good Myself, Shoot Low Boys They're Riding Shetland Ponies, and Southern By The Grace of God are my favorite Grizzard books.

The Newnan, Georgia native passed away in 1994. His biography is interesting, as Lewis wore his flaws on his sleeve, and those faults and wit endeared him to millions. If you're Southern, I guarantee you will greatly enjoy his writing, even if he is not your favorite.

Enjoy your Wednesday!

Cam's Weekly Wednesday Top....5?

When your spouse works in the health care industry, it is certain you will hear a plethora of funny, disgusting, or bizarre stories from veteran physicians. It is important to emphasize that posting these stories on a blog is not illegal, unprofessional, or suspect in any way. Only if the actual names of the people are divulged would it be any of those, and I have no clue what the names may be. Furthermore, my wife is not the person who relayed these stories to me, but physicians we encountered at parties, dinners, and in the resident's lounge.

I will warn you, this list is not for the kiddies, but I hope you find them as amusing as I. If you're wondering why only 5, it's because the stories can be a little long. Without further adieu, your Top 5.

5. This was written as a note from one male doctor to another on a patient's chart:

"Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant."

4. A man and his wife came into the ER complaining of a "personal problem." They had been remodeling the house when "the mood" took them. For reasons passing understanding, the couple thought it would be a good idea to use the dry wall caulk as personal lubrication.

They were literally stuck together where it counted.

3. A morbidly obese lady came in complaining of pain under her stomach. After lifting up her pannus, the doctors found a nasty set of splinters on her underbelly. During the removal of these splinters, one of the nurses' curiosity got the better of them and asked where the splinters came from. The lady responded, "My sister uses a 4x4 to push up my stomach so my husband and I can have sex."

2. Another extremely large lady went to her primary care physician seeking the cause of an awful smell she couldn't seem to wash off. When doing the work up, under one of the lady's fat rolls, they found a rotting, soggy ham sandwich that had been there for some weeks.

The same lady had been in before with an odd condition where the channel changed on her television when she moved to get up or sneezed. They found the TV remote in her fat roles, so they had a good idea where to begin looking for the "rotten smell" this time around.

1. A pregnant lady was in the maternity ward waiting to have her baby. She said she had to go to the bathroom. After being in there for only two or three minutes, the nurses in the hospital room heard a nominal amount of groaning, then smelled and saw smoke coming from under the bathroom door.

When they rushed to open it, they found the door locked. After getting no help from the inside, they used the master key to unlock it, only to discover the lady sitting on the toilet with baby in one hand, and cigarette in the other.

I've got more, but it's a little long for today. I'll try to post my SEC predictions tonight so that I may take the day off tomorrow, loosen my belt for some turkey, and spend the afternoon watching football.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Cam's Weekly Wednesday Top 10

The uncertainty that plagues this year's college football season is just another in a long line of reasons division I football needs a playoff.

As the beauty pageant rages on into the rivalry weekends, here is my Top 10 teams in the collegiate "bowl sub-division." The rankings are based upon which teams I would favor against any other team in the nation.

1. LSU (9-1)- They have the nation's most physical and tenacious team.

Achilles Heel: Penalties, turnovers, and the reckless stupidity of Les Miles have made this team vulnerable at times this season.

2. Oklahoma (9-1)- Just flat nasty on both sides of the ball. A collapse in the final seven minutes in Boulder earlier in the season is the Sooner's lone blemish. They'll win the Big 12 no problem.

Achilles Heel: Inexperience.

3. West Virginia (8-1)- Fast, fast, fast with a tremendous offense.

Achilles Heel: Defense, penalties, and overall stupidity.

4. Florida (7-3)- The Tebow show in full swing is a site to see. They are the nation's fastest team, and when Urban Meyer has a good game plan the Gators will pound almost any opponent to dust.

Achilles Heel: Inexperience and Urban Meyer's stubbornness to keep hacking away with a game plan that is ineffective.

5. Oregon (8-1)- The Ducks' spread offense is lethal in the Pac-10. They are disciplined and well coached with a defense that causes a lot of turnovers.

Achilles Heel: The defense is as ineffective as their offense has proven affective. Their defense causes a lot of turnovers because they play in the Pac-10, but their offense turns the ball over as much as their defense takes it away.

6. Missouri (9-1)- The experts actually got one right. Their spread-option offense is as good as it gets.

Achilles Heel: They have been largely untested in the Big 12 North division, and their defense gives up a lot of points.

7. Virginia Tech (8-2)- They are the only team in the ACC with enough talent to boast a top 10 rating.

Achilles Heel: Turnovers, uncertainty at quarterback, and Frank Beamer.

8. Georgia (8-2)- I really hesitate to rank the Bulldogs this high, but truth be told, there's no one else left I would favor over them.

Achilles Heel: Inexperience and irrelevance....they're Georgia.

9. Kansas (10-0)- The nation's lone unbeaten in major conference play. They score a lot.

Achilles Heel: They're not very good at football. I'll shut up if they beat Mizzou and OU, but it's not happening. No defense= losses against good teams. Also, their coach may keel over on the sideline at any moment.

10. Ohio State (10-1)- Just SO pedestrian, but there's no one left. They play in a entirely pathetic Big 10, so their testing has been 'nil all year.

Achilles Heel: The entire team. Sloppy on special teams. Porous on defense, and streaky on offense.


Teams that have no business in the discussion: Arizona State, USC, Hawaii, Boise State, Texas, Boston College, and Cincinnati.

Cam's Weekly Wednesday Top 10

Johnny Cash has always been an intriguing figure to me. The film version of his life, Walk The Line, doesn't even come remotely close to capturing the aspect of this man with which I truly empathize, and that's his life-long feeling of being unforgivable.

I'm not going to launch into A Cash Biography right here, but I hope to shed some light on what portions of his life, of which I am aware, that shine through in the songs that speak to me in a powerful way.

These songs are my Top 10 Johnny Cash songs that will make the non-Cash fan into someone who can't stop listening to The Man in Black for his tunes, and for the man who sings them.

10. Folsom Prison Blues- Johnny wrote this song in Hamburg, Germany while he was in the Air Force. After viewing a movie one Saturday night, which featured Folsom Prison, he wrote this song. The tempo is upbeat and fun, but the lyrics convey a powerful portion of his psyche.

This was a free man empathizing with the imprisoned, the guilty, and the unforgiven. The lyrics show a man with a sense of outstanding justice as he pointed out that the greedy and selfish, so long as their sins are manifest in business, seem to get by without a scratch in their life.

I identify with this sense of justice because I seem to make myself suffer and pay for my guilt much longer than any natural consequence of my actions. This song is just the tip of the iceberg.

Best line: ...but I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. When I hear that lonesome whistle, I hang my head and cry.

9. Tennessee Stud- This slow and folksy tune is Johnny connecting with the toughness and heroics of the Old South. He identified strength and power with the golden horse and the man who rode on him.

There's still a theme of justice when he, "rode right back acrost Arkansas" and he "whooped her brother and her whooped her pa" on his way to the ideal life with the girl with the golden hair.

Best line: We pulled our guns, and he fell with a thud, and I rode away on the Tennessee Stud.

8. Get Rhythm- It's got that old rock n' roll feel to it with a good beat. Johnny is still talking about overcoming adversity and injustice in the life of a shoe shine boy.

Best line: It only costs a dime, just a nickel a shoe, it does a million dollars worth of good for you.

7. Cocaine Blues- A cautionary tale in three minutes. A man strung out on cocaine, who kills his woman for cheating on him, gets his just reward. Yet again, justice is the overtone.

Best line: When I was arrested I was dressed in black. They put me on a train and they took me back.

6. Jackson- Is a duet with June Carter Cash. It's a fun song, and lots of people don't like it because it's detailing a couple's spat with threats of going to Jackson to "mess around." It's pretty obvious to me that it's a nommage to all lover's quarrels, who are just trying to make each other jealous.

Best line: June- You're going to Jackson...go comb your hair. Johnny- Honey, I'm gonna snowball Jackson. June- See if I care.

5. Flushed From The Bathroom of Your Heart- It's nothing but a bunch of metaphors for getting dumped. The guitar strumming and the message will make you think of a typical country heart break song.

Best line: Up the elevator of your future, I've been shafted.

4. The Legend of John Henry's Hammer- This is another one of Johnny's songs that turned a piece of regional folklore into national legend through song. John Henry is the black equivalent to the Great Lake's Paul Bunyan. Johnny made the tall tale into one of his most popular live songs.

It's Johnny's way of giving credit where he felt it was due; a way of bringing some justice where there was injustice.

Best line: Can you hoist a jack? Can you lay a track? Can you pick and shovel too? Huh? Listen. This hammer swinger's talking to you.

3. The Man Comes Around- The idea of Johnny's music as "Steady like a train, sharp like a razor" really comes through in this song. His deeply religious upbringing and sense of justice dominates the lyrics. The whole thing is a preamble to The Judgment.

I've said it before, Johnny's reading of Revelation 6:8 is bone-chilling.

Best line: 'Till Armageddon no Shalaam, no Shalom. Then the Father Hen will call his chickens home. The wise men will bow down before the throne. And at his feet they'll cast their golden crowns....when the man comes around.

2. Hurt- This is, without question, Johnny's most powerful recording. It is a cover of Trent Renzor's lyrics, though now not his own after "American Recordings: IV" was released.

Renzor was asked, after seeing Johnny's video for Hurt, what he thought about Cash using his song. Renzor replied, "I wasn't happy about it at first. But now it's clear to me now that I wrote it for Johnny Cash."

The video only adds potency to the song itself, and for a man that had just lost his wife and felt unforgivable, it can bring anyone to tears who is susceptible to the authentic emotion and pain Johnny brings to the delivery.

Best line: What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.

1. A Boy Named Sue- This is easily my favorite Cash song. His folksy charm is at his best in this one. Johnny was never much of a guitarist, but he was just a natural on stage to tell his stories.

It's simply a great and classic tune with no real point, but Johnny's baggage isn't checked at the door. He identified with it because he both hated and revered his dad. At the end of the song, so does the character he is singing as.

Best line: He was big, and bent, and gray, and old. And I looked at him and my blood ran cold. And I said, My name is Sue. How do you do? Now you're gonna die!

Honorable Mention: God's Gonna Cut You Down, I Got Stripes, Tennessee Flat Top Box, I Walk The Line, and Ring of Fire.

Here's a great character to look at and remind those of us who struggle with the idea of being unforgivable that we're not the only ones, and we can still do great things.

Johnny, I hope you found peace and forgiveness. I'll be singing A Boy Named Sue with you someday.

Monday Morning Music Choices

As I sit yankified for a day in a Columbus, Ohio hotel room, I am some 400 miles from my itunes.
Therefore, no new downloads will be made today, but I can give you (for those who may be interested) what my top 10 most played songs are according to my ipod.

10. Come Fly With Me- Frank Sinatra- Simply a classic that will put you in a good mood if you just give it a chance.

9. Fly- Jars of Clay- It's a song about the "victory lap" in death. If I live this life the right way, it should be fitting at my funeral.

And for someone like me who has the weight and scars in his heart and in his life from past deeds, it is a truly special feeling to become more and more confident of your salvation through grace, not your works, whether good or bad.

8. Blitzkrieg Bop- The Ramones- This song always makes me think of Phil "The Thrill" Waggoner driving around in his Taurus back in the day. It was my first experience with The Ramones and it stuck with me.

If you don't know this song by name, it starts "Ey. Oh. Let's go. Ey. Oh. Let's go." etc.

7. Joe Harper Saturday Morning- Van Morrison- I think this song is about drugs, but I can't understand most of what Van says. It's got a great tune, and I can switch my brain off when I listen to it because I don't know what's being sung.

6. The Man Comes Around- Johnny Cash- This is my personal equivalent of Samuel L. Jackson's Ezekial 25:17, but the song is four and half minutes long. Maybe too much for something "pithy" before someone gets a beat down, so you'll just have Johnny tell 'em in that stone and gravel voice:

"...and heard a voice in the midst of the four beast, and I looked and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death.........and hell followed with him." It'll give you goosebumps.

5. Ants Marching- Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds - This is my favorite live song of all time. One of my dream concerts is to see Dave and Tim perform somewhere, but I'd like to hear the old songs. Their newer album isn't as crisp and folksy.

4. On Jordan's Stormy Banks- Jars of Clay- This is the best rendition of the old hymn I have heard. The lyrics were powerful by themselves, but slowing it down and adding a fiddle to it gives it the feel of a purposeful march. If you haven't heard it, go get it right now.

3. The Boxer- Simon and Garfunkel- One of the great American songs. The last verse has always spoken to me.

"In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade, and he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him, 'till he cried out in his anger and his shame, 'I am leaving, I am leaving,' but the fighter still remains."

2. Come Away With Me- Norah Jones- It's her best song so far, and that is saying something. I love her voice and the melody. Hard to beat.

1. Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton- Every man whose been in love with a woman has had a night like Mr. Clapton is describing in this song. I love it, and Liz plays it a lot when she has my ipod, so it gets double play.

Cam's Weekly Wednesday Top 10

This week, I thought I'd run down my favorite restaurants, because I like to eat. Eating is good, and it probably shows with me.

Here is my list of favorite dining places at the moment.

10. The Melting Pot- It's one of things for which you've got to be in the mood. It's also a little expensive, but well worth it when you have the inkling. The Pot is just about everywhere too, so enjoy it wherever.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Islander Surf and Turf w/chocolate peanut butter fondue for desert.

9. Taqueria Mexico- On Rainbow Boulevard in Kansas City, it's got great Tacos El Pastor. It's not very expensive and it's got the authentic Mexican feel.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Tacos el pastor y arroz, y frioles con limon. Margarita con patron, mucha perfecta. Muy bien.

8. P.F. Chang's- I love everything about this restaurant, and you can typically find one in just about any city. It's a tad on the expensive side, but I love it.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Honey Shrimp and a Mojito.

7. Jackson's- Found in Nashville's Hillsboro Village, it's got a descent food selection and a great bar. Drop by on a Summer Night, and I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Chicken Pasta and a Manhattan.

6. Bahama Breeze- Good seafood and a drink menu that is second to none. It's truly unbelievable.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Coconut Prawns and Bahamaritas.

5. Thompson Station Grill- This is Lee Rice's restaurant down in Thompson Station, TN. It's got great everything. Google it, and take a trip down when you're in Nashville. It's like Cracker Barrel meets Mere Bulles.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Thompson Station Ribeye, with sauteed green beans and a bottle of Alice White Red Lexia.

4. Houston's- Located in the Country Club Plaza in KC, this upscale American food restaurant has the best ribs I've ever had. It's worth the trip to the Plaza if you ever have the inclination and the cash.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Duh, the ribs and a Jack and Coke.

3. Taj Palace- This is the best Indian food of all time. It's got a cheap, "all you can eat" lunch buffet.... and every last dish is incredible. Unfortunately it's only in KC, but I'm sure there are other Indian restaurants out there in the same class.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Chicken Tapak Masala, on a bed of steamed rice with garlic naan and a big pitcher of water.

2. Cheesecake Factory- What an impeccable selection of foods and genres. Not to mention, it's got the cheesecake....and oh, it's gooooood. You can find The Factory in most major cities.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Chicken Littles, Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake or Chocolate Tuxedo Cream Cheesecake, and a Shirley Temple ;)

1. J. Gilbert's- This is found in a couple of different cities, and it's a must-see to believe. They have hickory grilled steaks, great drinks and sides, and other great meat selections. Simply the best.

Cam's Dish of Choice: Bone-in ribeye with garlic mashed potatoes and a smooth, tall Tom Collins.