Thursday, December 11, 2008

Rolling Stone Top 100 (Part 2)

By Taft Ayers

The folks at Rolling Stone recently released their list of the 100 "greatest singers of all time." I am going to release them in four groups of 25 (not that you couldn't look them up on your own, but hey, this is fun!)

Feel free to argue with my opinions, that's what makes music so great.

Also, feel free to laud me for my opinions, that's what makes music so great.

**The list was made by an all-star cast of voters. Each voter was asked to list his or her 20 favorite vocalists from the rock era, in order of their importance. Those ballots were recorded and weighted according to methodology developed by the accounting firm of Ernst & Young, which then tabulated and verified the results for Rolling Stone.**

74. James Taylor- Absurd. He belongs in the top 10. Rolling Stone struck out here.

73. Dolly Parton- What? She sounds like a kid with a microphone when she sings!

72. John Fogerty-
I don't care what # he is, just glad he's on the list. CCR baby!

71. Toots Hibbert- One person made reggae cool...and his name wasn't "Toots"-sorry.

70. Gregg Allman- He's a super voice, belongs in top 50, especially with these folks.

69. Ronnie Spector- Not a legendary singer. I'd happily switch her with #93 spot.

68. Wilson Pickett-
He screams, doesn't sing. Some say "belting"- 68's a generous #.

67. Jerry Lee Lewis- The only dude who can shake my nerves and rattle my brain. How gay did that sound?

66. Thom Yorke- He's different, however, different isn't always better- (i.e. Obama).

65. David Ruffin-
Complete stud. Phenomenal. Top 25. When he sings, he pleas.

64. Axl Rose- He screams, doesn't sing. Some say "genius"- I agree. I'm a hypocrite.

63. Dion- This guy sucks. Period. Rolling Stone is a joke.

62. Lou Reed- Who?

61. Roger Daltrey- His voice breaks glass. My 4th grade music teacher's did too. Neither belong on this list.

60. Bjork- She's terrible. P.S.- she dresses exactly like my 4th grade music teacher.

59. Rod Stewart- I'm completely uncomfortable saying I'm glad he's on this list.

58. Christina Aguilera- Genie in a Bottle blows, but she has freakin' pipes, great #.

57. Eric Burdon- A British Invasion singer who should've stayed home. Bad call.

56. Mavis Staples- She makes sense on a list of great singers. #56 suits her well.

55. Paul Rodgers-
Rolling Stone said possesses a "throaty roar"-What the crap?

54. Luther Vandross-
#1 on the "Songs Black Men Use to Procreate" list! Me so funny.

53. Muddy Waters- He is complete AWESOMENESS. Yeah I said it. A Diamond-in-the-rough.

52. Brian Wilson- Sounds like a homo sometimes, but I contest-some singing greats do!

51. Gladys Knight-
She's a textbook to learn from on "how-to-sing"- #51's an insult.

50. Bonnie Raitt- Her jam "I Can't Make You Love Me"-Solidifies her on this list.

"Singing is such an excellent thing, that I wish all people would sing"-Richard Byrd

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