Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Negroes Combining, Gaining Power

This article came straight from SportsPickle.com and posted here by Taft Ayers

"Fears expressed by white voters in West Virginia and Kentucky recently about black people gaining greater power in the country have been seemingly realized in a recent television clips that clearly show strong, motivated black men combining together as super-black-men, hell-bent on a joint goal of singular supremacy.

“There can only be one,” said Cliff Garrity, a West Virginia voter. “Like I don’t know what that’s implying. I’m not stupid. They’re saying there can only be one dominant race. Well, not on my watch. And like any of them could beat Jerry West anyway, even if they are combining their strengths. He was the best ever. He was from West Virginia, you know.”

Utilizing some sort of ungodly technology, most likely developed in their ancient savage ancestry, black basketball players are melding into single beings, issuing demands and declaring their desires.

“I don’t know where they learned how to do that, but I’ll never understand their ways or agree with them, what with their loud music and their baggy pants and their combining together into an entirely new entity,” said Joleyn McDougle of Lexington, Kent.

McDougle’s husband, Jim Ray, says he wishes he could get his hands on one of them body joiners.

“I could have me some fun with that,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to combine the butt of my prize sheep, Shirley, with the face of my cousin Earl. Party up front and party in the back, know what I mean?”

Earl McDougle, Jim Ray’s cousin, admitted he does find these combo-negroes incredibly well-spoken.

“They talk so well,” said Earl. “And a lot of them seem very clean-cut. It’s surprising, to say the least.”

But it’s not necessarily a positive surprise.
“Yeah, they talk too well,” says Jim Ray. “They sound all uppity. Which is pretty ridiculous for a black guy with two faces. At least I think they’re two faces. I can never really tell them apart.”

If you don't understand this aritcle, watch an NBA playoff game, these commercials run all through them.

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

Unfortuntely, while this is obviously a satirical piece, some opinions not too far from this were being trumped up and played out in several recent primary states.

Beyond that, in reading comments posted at on on-line news source regarding the recent stories about witch burnings in Africa, I was absolutely sickened by the number of remarks that sounded exactly like they could have come from a satirical piece like this. A number of them were obvious attempts at jokes but there were too many that seemed to be absolutely serious. I understand that there is frustration that exists in every demographic in terms of race relations but there are some attitudes that I just can't find funny.

Tiffany said...

And, on top of that (and I meant to add this above), I am sorry for the frustration that so many rural voters (and especially rural southern voters) feel at being represented as bigots simply because the dumb white male is the one stereotype left in America that it's still okay to laugh at and perpetuate.

Belive me, I'm always up for a good laugh and I do love satire, but I guess I just feel that pieces like this only increase frustrations all around rather than really succeeding in making a meaningful statement, which is the ultimate point of the genre.