By Taft Ayers
It doesn't take a whole lot to please my tastes. Go to Blockbuster, dial up the pay-per-view, bring over the dvd (or tape) and I will give it a shot. I'm not a movie snob. I will watch pretty much anything...once.
I can do chick-flicks with my bride. I can watch "dudes that eat nails for breakfast" macho films with my boys, or Gandorfian hobbits, urban men in the barbershop, PC Load-Letter, and I can remember the Titans.
It doesn't matter if FOCUS films produced the movie (those films usually start with a crappy guitar song and completely leave me hanging at the end) or if it is an MTV production (those films usually start with jokes nobody over 40 can comprehend and are completely gratuitous in the truest sense of the word)...I can watch them.
I don't over-analyze them, and I usually look at the person that I viewed them with (or talk to myself) and say, "that wasn't so bad." However, I've recently seen four films (high volume of videos due to the fact that my wife is on bed-rest with our pregnancy, thanks for the prayers) at home and they were all sub-par.
I hope I am not getting too old. I hope that I am not being way too critical, but they all have been pretty wretched.
Here they are, feel free to tell me I'm an idiot...after all, I wantedto like them:
ATONEMENT- Yeah, say what you will, but the preview looks cool. In the movie a punk kid has a crush on a neighboring boy, who happens to love her sister. She tells a horrible lie about him committing a crime that finds him in prison, in war, and ....well, I won't blow it (wait, the movie was a waste of time, yes I will) DEAD! It tells you on the movie cover that it was nominated for 7 awards. I can't think of one that it deserved.
ENCHANTED-Should have known better. He (Patrick Dempsey) isn't cool (not even as Dr. Derek Shepherd, sorry ladies). He hasn't even been tolerable since he played that geek who paid the girl to be his "popular" girlfriend in 1987. This movie busted out in random song, totally throwing me off. I knew it was bad when I heard my wife say, a couple of times, "well, I've heard a lot of people liked it." I remember in the late 90's when a lot of dudes liked capri pants too. That means nothing.
JUNO-I'm ALWAYS up for a movie that has a great message. This one did. A teenage girl gets pregnant and does not abort the baby. Praise be! Focus on that part if you watch the movie, because her character is the greatest nerve-wracker to ever appear in a movie. She talks like she knows EVERYTHING about music and films that preceded her in life by at least 35 years (this is the youth minister in me who thinks kids like that are a complete joke). She keeps referring to the night that she got pregnant as the night that she had, "the sex"....I cringed every time.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN- My buddies told me this film was brilliant. My buddies also told me one time that jumping off the retaining wall and busting into the forward roll would make for great video. Both times, I was the idiot for listening. Just watch the first five minutes. You will think to yourself, "Wow, this is strange, I have to watch the rest to see what happens." It continues to be strange. The main characters are delusional, creepy, perverted and far from interesting.
Please tell me there are GOOD movies out there...this is going to be a long pregnancy.