I began thinking about this subject because of a post on another site. "To Santa, or not to Santa?" That was the question.Religion plays no role at all in our decision to remove Santa from our Christmases, instead our adamant insistence on being politically correct* takes precedence. I'm just not wild about the precedent the Santa story teaches our children. How would we truly simplify this Christmas legend for our kids and people from other cultures?
This one night a year, if you're fortunate enough to receive the vague and arbitrary distinction of the "Nice List," Santa Claus will invade your house by defying all the laws of physics when sliding down the chimney, thus effectively committing a class "A" felony as he breaks into your home.
Furthermore, your child must coax this wildly obese figure, with the most unhealthy of cookies and drinks, so that he will be more than generous with his gift selection. Bribing a fat person with food? That is the ultimate stereotype that I wish to avoid teaching my girls.
We all know grossly overweight people use food as their coping mechanism; so there must be some kind of deep-ceded emotional issue, perhaps between he and Mrs. Claus, that makes St. Nick feel as if he needs these goodies to mask his inner pain. Perhaps the anguish is caused by his mistreatment of elf-kind.
This elf labor that is such a part of the folklore surrounding Christmas is possibly the worst lesson of all. How many little people have been subjected to ridicule and elf references throughout their life because of the lie of Santa Claus? The idea that this whole race of people are mandated to build toys year-round, without any known compensation except the "joy in their heart," shows how deep the lies and societal inequality go in this yule tide terror.
I, for one, applaud the anti-Claus households for not perpetuating the lie and scandal that is Santa. I would much rather deal with the family dysfunction without having to carry on the pretense of St. Nick; a lie that is sure to lead to a child's utter disappointment when they find out their parents lied to them for a better part of a decade. Grandma's alcoholism is one thing; Santa's non-existence is another.
This type of deceit can result in years of therapy and resentment by the child toward their parents. It's a psychological trauma that is easily avoided.
Happy Holidays.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*We have one of the most politically incorrect families in all of America. This entire column is meant as satire. There is absolutely no disrespect at all toward the families that choose not to employ the legend of Santa to celebrate Christmas.
