Monday Morning Music Choices

Christmas is great. I don't know a single non-emotionally scarred person who doesn't absolutely love the "Holiday Season," or the "non-religious, semi-warmed, politically correct December Salutations," or whatever it is being called now.

I try to stay out of the "War on Christmas" nonsense because I'm gonna celebrate the season whether it's P.C. or not; and I won't let some communist, under the guise of liberty, put the symbols I use to celebrate Christmas under wraps or out of site. My new seasonal salutation is, "Deal with it."

Under that mantra, I decided I needed much, much more festive and seasonal music so I can deck the halls in a more merry manner. Here's what I found during my venture onto itunes this morning.

1. Jingle Bell Rock- Bobby Helms- Nice. Can't beat it. It can get you in the Christmas Spirit in July.

2. Baby, It's Cold Outside- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Jordan- I kinda liked the one from the Elf Soundtrack too with Zoey Deschanel and the Mr. Belvedere guy, but I decided I liked the tempo of Ella and Louis' better.

Did you know that the pregnancy rate nearly doubles in the northeast and plain states during the winter months?

3. Santa Baby- Eartha Kitt & Henri Rene- What kind of chick does this? It's a cool song and all, but if I'm not married to this girl, she's spending the Holidays crying alone in her room after setting this ultimatum. Fortunately, I didn't marry a girl like that, so she gets what she wants anyway.

"What my baby wants, my baby gets. You know that."

4. I Wanna Rock You Hard This Christmas- The Dan Band- It's not for the kiddies, but if superfluous expletives in Christmas references, like "Five A** Golden Rings" is your cup of tea, then it's your kind of unconventional Christmas song.

The Dan Band has a whole Christmas album out called, "Ho." The title is vintage D.B.

If you're not familiar with the D.B., watch Old School and wait for the Total Eclipse of the Heart performance. Yup, that's them. You can act appalled all you want, you know it's funny.

5. Blue Christmas- Elvis Presley- I heard Martha Stewart got hammered on Egg Nog and listened to this song 100 times while she spent a Christmas behind bars. She spent most of her time making shivs out of candy canes, and passing out the cartons of "Lucky's" cigarettes after the Connecticut State Penitentiary Christmas Fashion Show was over.

Anyway, I heard the story, and had to have the song.

Enjoy the season all month long; and if you find yourself offended by someone's Christmas decorations, just think to yourself, "Deal with it." You'll be fine.